2.5 Unlearning the Egocentrism of Having Had to Shelter in Place.

My mother left the Air Force and the Air Traffic Control Tower, for household management, and prayers. The Armed Forces exist for the collective good. Leaving the Air Force for 'household management' was also for the collective good. It was a personal decision but included the socially mandated isolation of being home in the Canadian North.

For the past few years, we experienced the social and legally mandated isolation of being home because of a global epidemic, otherwise known as a pandemic. The strategy was to shelter in place, for the common good. The idea of being mandated to secure ourselves in our homes is frightening, then and now. We were all in this together. Were we all in this together?

Three observations about the pandemic: first, the persistence of the pandemic state was/is achingly long. Second, in this present moment, we are inclined to forget the manifold difficulties of our experience. Both our psyche and our worldview may have been dramatically, albeit subconsciously, altered. Third, one of the ways in which we may have changed is inadvertent egocentrism. We are inclined to think of ourselves, and our households, with self-absorption, rather than think of others. On occasion, it feels that, as a society, we have become more childish and immature in our egos, and in how we function as a community. 

Research on prisoners who experience solitary confinement shows that they exhibit persistent signs of depression, anxiety, paranoia, and delusions. The experience of prisoners compared to households during the pandemic may seem like an extreme example, but many experienced solitary isolation. We need to recall that we were taught that Others represented a danger and that we could not consort with them, nor come close to them, touch or hug them, and in some cases, ever see them -- again. 

Gunilla Norris has a response to the idea of being home, in her book from 1991 of the same name, Being Home, a book of meditations. She suggests that our rituals are the quotidian, the 'ordinary everyday tasks' we recite, in the performance of our household management. She meditates on 71 different daily routines. She takes these mundane tasks and turns them into prayers, returning to them to dwell and linger in them. This transforms a season of isolation into moments of sacred service. Norris chooses to voice her prayers to the divine 'You' and in so doing is never alone. Learning means unlearning. Living in the presence of the divine 'You' creates a shift in perspective from the selfish Self to the good of the collective. Through the Spirit of the One, we become ever mindful of the collective and seek their good, and bless them in our prayers. 

How do I adjust my praxis, my beliefs and actions, based on these disparate themes: the armed forces, the pandemic, isolation, egocentrism, the quotidian, and the common good? I do not know. But this idea of 49 Days Out of The Wilderness is bent on personal transformation. My mother's middle name was Joy. There appears to be no joy in the ritual chores of household management unless we ourselves bring it, awaken to, and invite the divine 'You' in, shattering the isolation within ourselves.